Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
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