FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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