i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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