actually, I'm a sock model
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
