So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
