I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
