the condom got lost in my hair
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
