I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
