And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
