.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize