shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
