His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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