How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize