OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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