here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
