so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
