I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
