margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
