she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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