Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
