sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
