he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
