actually, I'm a sock model
You just made me feel so damn special
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
this boner is exhausting
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
