Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
