"it" just moved
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
