her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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