I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Randomize
