oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
