I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
