He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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