dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
