why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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