I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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