I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
dude i'm inner monologue high
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
