like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
It's just like the Real World with babies
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
