i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
