I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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