Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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