Who did Billy Mays play for?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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