You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
