I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize