I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
