remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize