Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
