Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
