just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
