I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
