Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
