I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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