dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
