Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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