Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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