I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
