I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
