Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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