Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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