I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
