Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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