I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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