Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
