i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
