at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
