ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
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