Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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