he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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