Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
how drunk are you?
Several
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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