Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
