Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize