i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
